Dear Tonto…The Final Letter from the Lone Ranger

By Jamie Komanekinlone ranger in envelope

We both know that I am supposed to be the hero of our adventures, and so I should get all the credit for our actions. Yet some people believe you are the actual hero and that if it were not for you, many of our adventures would have ended long ago. I do not like that you get us out of all of our dilemmas. It
makes me look bad. I must figure out how to avoid danger, or at least be able to make myself look better in compromising situations.

Tonto, I need your help. Together we must brainstorm multiple ways to make me look better. There has to be something that you, Tonto, are not good at. Perhaps there is something minor that you cannot do? For instance, maybe you are a bad swimmer, and I could save you from drowning; or maybe you cannot tie your moccasins, and I could tie them for you so that you would not trip and fall. Anything would help, no matter how small, because I have an image to rebuild.

Maybe we should think big. Maybe there is some sort of duel or competition that we could engage in. Perhaps we could have a horse race through town where we pretend that you received a head injury while we were fighting off some unseen crime. Then I could pretend to catch up to you to try and stop the bleeding before you became unconscious. There has to be something that I can do to show that I am not solely reliant upon my illiterate Injun friend.

I need to have some form of redemption. We need to act quickly. I cannot have people lose faith in me. I, as the hero, cannot always be rescued by you. People are starting to say that I need an Injun to continually come to my rescue. It sure is a good thing that I wear this mask to cover my face.

Come on now, Tonto, what do you say? Can you help a Kemosabe out?

Jamie Komanekin is a member of the Bar River Chippewa Band of Lake Superior.